I have been having a rough time the past couple of months. I will spare you the details but will say this, depression and anxiety are nasty creatures to battle. I know it will pass but sometimes that's hard to remember. I pray, maybe not as often or as hard as I should, but I pray, and God answers prayers.
Last night I was sitting on our couch, looking at the weather advisory for Tucson. Snow? Blizzard? Sure. Maybe up in the mountains but not down here where the people live. That just doesn't happen here. I said a small quiet prayer. It went a little like this:
God, I need a sign. I need to know you're here with me, that I'm not alone. Maybe you could let it snow all night so I can wake up to snow? Maybe? I now you're busy doing so many other things and this is a very trivial request but if you feel up to it that would be awesome. If you can't, that's cool, I completely understand.
I love God with my whole heart. I love that He accepts me for who I am. I love that He doesn't need me to be at my best in order the hear me and that I can talk to him freely. He loves me when I am completely weak and overcome.
So, I said my prayer, went to bed and woke up to a cloudy sky but no snow. Hey, that's okay, I did wake up after all and we are all mostly healthy and happy. So I took Kierra to school and went on with my day. We all went to Kierra's rodeo show at school and in the drive over it started to snow. How fun! The snow fell for a couple of hours, it was delightful. As soon as the snow stopped falling the snow started to melt, that's how the desert works. The skies were also showing signs of clearing up. It was a fun little winter storm. At about 3pm I felt so tired that I just had to take a nap so I laid down and fell asleep. About an hour later I woke up to squeals.
"Mom! Mom! Wake up! You have to see this!"
I groggily rolled out of bed and was ushered into our living room and brought to the window where I feasted my eyes on a frosty desert. The desert, my desert, was completely covered in snow. Not only that, snow was still falling, not little snow, but giant snowflakes, falling to the earth in quiet beauty. At that moment I heard a small voice that said, "You woke up to snow." And at that moment I knew, regardless of what might happen in the future, God is with me and that everything is going to be okay.